Recent Adventures in Ohio...
November 29, 2001
The way I packed my car you'd think I was never coming back. Dried fruits, nuts, bottled water, Vladimir Nabokov's unabridged Lolita on audiocassette, blankets, a compass, two flashlights, a couple of pairs of shoes, pepper spray, road maps, and turn-by-turn directions meticulously printed on oversize index cards. All for a quick trip just one state over.
The people in Ohio were exceedingly nice to me. I had to stop and ask directions eight times because, when it comes to certain life skills, I am at a loss. My first stop was WRRS in Cincinnati. Mark DeWitt interviewed me for a half-hour Radio Reading Services show. Mostly WRRS serves the blind, but lots of sighted people listen, too, because the station does a number of author interviews and readings. Some of my favorite authors had been through there—including David Sedaris!
Next, I killed lots of time in the Cincinnati Art Museum. They have some fantastic lithographs by the biggies—Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Alphonse Mucha, Pierre Bonnard, and on and on. The work to the left is a Toulouse-Lautrec called Aristide Bruant in his Cabaret. The Impressionists, the temporary exhibit called The Photographic Impulse, and the Chihuly centerpiece are all definitely worth a look if you are ever in Cincinnati. (Eek! I sound like a real art snob, don't I?)
Eventually, it was time for my book signing/talk at Joseph-Beth Booksellers. It was raining steadily outside, a small crowd gathered, and things were going pretty well until all the lights in the store went out. We carried on in the dark like that, and the lights never came back on. But that's not even the weird part.
I asked the group if they had any particular questions for me, and an old man in the back row said, "My name's Handel like the composer only I'm not a composer and I don't like his music. What word looks like another word but doesn't sound like that word? Like wind and wind, sow and sow, primer and primer..." He must've rattled off fifteen or more sets of these words, emphasizing their differing sounds (i.e., WINd vs. WHINEd). Then he stopped and just looked at me. I said I didn't think it was a homonym, and then, in triumph, he said, "I've stumped authors and professors alike with that question. The answer is 'heteronym.'" And with that, he was gone. Meg, Joseph-Beth's public relations person, took me aside after the event to say that the heteronym man comes to each of their author events and asks that same question. She said one of these days she's going to remember to give the featured author the answer in advance just to see what happens.
Friday, November 30, 2001
I was late to WATH the next day. The morning had been rainy-foggy-dark, I'd received bad directions, and I got stuck behind a school bus. I got to the Athens radio station about seven minutes after I was supposed to be on the air with Dave and Ray, but they were very kind regardless. It took me nearly the full hour just to catch my breath, and now I am sure the AM listeners think I'm some weird heavy breather.
My next stop was a signing at Little Professor books. I parked downtown in a parking garage, and this interesting statement ("Your only safety is in danger") was penned on the wall. What on Earth does it mean?
All kinds of interesting souls drifted in, among them a former vice president at Ohio University, a lady from South Africa (but she certainly did not come all that way to see me!), and Ray from the Athens radio station. He invited me to have dinner with him and his family that evening. I told you the people in Ohio were nice!
Here are a couple of neat spots I found in downtown Athens. Someday, I may go back there to stay a while. I've heard that Ohio University has a top-notch forensic chemistry program, and if I ever go back to school, that's what I'd like to study.
Saturday, December 1, 2001
While driving north from Athens, I snapped this beautiful sky even though I knew the photo would never turn out as well as the real thing. My photos never do.
One more signing—this one at Corner Books in Canal Winchester—and then it was time to head home.